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IELTS Writing part 2. sample essay

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The amount of time spent on digital screens has increased significantly in the
past few decades. While some people claim that children can benefit from
using
electronic
devices
and
playing
computer
games,
others
are
strongly/firmly/vehemently against it, saying it is a waste of time. Despite some
benefits, I believe it is a bad idea to spend much-> a lot of time on digital
media from a young age.
On the one hand, children can gain useful skills as we conduct most of our
tasks on computers or machines. If one starts using machines since young,
one can have a better chance to learn about how they work. Familiarity with
digital devices can lead to an interest in engineering.
On the other hand, adults who claim that it is a waste of time argue that
spending time in the digital world is bad for studying and has a negative
impact on => harms children’s mental health. They say computer games are
one of the most significant factors for bad grades and child depressions.
Despite some benefits, I believe it is bad for children to spend much time on
-> in the digital world. Firstly, as proven by multiple studies and reported by
newspapers, playing violent computer games can can negatively affect
children’s personalities. This could lead to serious social problems such as
juvenile delinquencies. Also, it can be said that benefits are overshadowed by
demerits, which is to waste much of children’s precious time. As it is nearly
unavoidable/inevitable/inescapable to use machines as an adult I think it is
wise for young children to stay away from it for as long as possible.
In conclusion, although there are some benefits, I think it is advisable to limit
children’s time spent on electronic devices and enjoy more analog activities
with friends and families. //291 words. (no upper word limit.)
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